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IT'S ALL ABOUT JESUS!
MY STORY, MY SONG
Juliet Rumbaoa San Fernando
21
JESUS FREAK
LOVES TO SING AND TO DANCE
PROUDLY FILIPINA and PUPian
COMSCI student
UBE ADDICT
SAVED BY GRACE!
I have life because of Jesus.
FORGIVEN, not forsaken.
LOVED, not cursed.
I'M FOREVER GRATEFUL! :D
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything here, unless stated.. :)
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“If possible, take this cup away from me. Yet not my will but Yours be done.” This is how Jesus prayed before he got arrested. In the midst of pain and agony, Jesus still sought the will of his Father and is willing to do it.
“Let Your will be done… “ such a heavy statement of faith, and this is how I end my prayer, asking God that His will be done in my life and not mine. But right now, I’m scared to include this in my prayer. Why? Coz I’m afraid to get hurt and to be broken again. I’m afraid to feel that dreading pain, I’m afraid to be alone.
I recently posted a blog about high school love, and I’ve said that even if it seems to be wrong (actually it is really wrong!) as long as you’re happy then enjoy it, besides being happy is the most important thing. I was wrong. Maybe I am happy, but am I making God happy? Does my actions still bring Him glory? Does His light still shine through me? NO! And I already knew it.
I always say that there is freedom in surrender but at this season of my life, it’s difficult for me to give him up and surrender my emotions and my feelings for him to God. I know that He’s telling me to stop, but I can’t, not at this time, I still want him to kiss me on my forehead, to held me in his arms, to lock his fingers on mine’s, to make me feel special, to make me feel loved and secured.
GOD should be my first priority and HE should be greater than my emotions. I know I have to let go and let God come in, but I’m so weak to do it now. Lord, I need You, help me overcome.. T.T
“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.” -Romans 7:15-20
ALMOST (again?!)
It’s been more than a week that I’ve never heard anything from him.
Did I become too confident that he’s different from the other guys I’ve met, from those who had left me hanging, broken, and clueless with what went wrong? I hope not. I want to believe that he’s really different, and if he doesn’t like me anymore, he will tell it straight to my face.
It’s better to hear the sad truth and be hurt rather than leaving me without any notice, it’s more painful that way. Why do I always experience this shit? Sorry for the word, but this is so frustrating. I don’t know why this keeps on happening, I’ll fall then no one will catch me.
I’ve fallen for him already, but is he gonna catch me? Or am I gonna be broken again? How many times do I need to experience this kind of pain? I can’t afford to be hurt again and I don’t wanna cry over the same thing. Uggh! I don’t know if I am just over thinking or overreacting, but this just keeps on getting worse.
Sometimes, I wish that God didn’t allow me to meet him and let him express his feelings for me if the same thing’s gonna happen. But, everything happens for a reason. Maybe I can’t understand the reason behind it, but God knows what He is doing. His ways are perfect, his plans are for my good and my future is in His hands.
Lord, I really feel bad right now. And I’m clueless with what’s going on. You know how many times I’ve been broken and I don’t want that time will come that I’ll not believe in love anymore, coz You are love. If he like me no more, let him tell it directly to me and not to just leave me hanging. Be my peace dear God, be my strength. I need Your comfort and embrace.. T.T
“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.”
-Romans 8:28
HOW LONG CAN I STAND?
He told me that he’s not okay. If I could just go where he is that time, I would do so and I would comfort him. I’m not feeling okay as well, but I still want to cheer him up more than I want to cheer myself. It’s been three days since he texted me, and the agony just keeps on getting worse. I like him and I’ve been praying for him, but I can’t stand this kind of set up anymore. All I want is a little time from him. I’ve been exerting a lot of effort but he’s not responding.
Am I being selfish? Should I still understand him? I don’t know what to do. It feels like the same thing is gonna happen. Is he going to leave me hanging on air just like what others have done? Am I going to be hurt this time again?
I don’t want to overreact. Maybe he just need time and space to ponder on what’s going on with his life right now. I don’t know. But as long as I can understand him, I will understand him. And as long as I can pray for him, I will pray for him.
Lord, I leave everything unto Your hands. I’ve already surrendered him and my feelings for him to You, so let Your will be done and not mine.
(PHOTOCREDIT)
“When the tears keep falling down and my lips can’t make a sound,
I know You hear my prayer and Your strength is always there..”
-To Find My Strength, Natalie Grant
(PHOTOCREDIT)
Expect a lot from GOD, not from anything or anyone.
The GOD I know righteous and holy
The GOD I know is faithful and true.
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