SWEET SURRENDER.
“ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Is it already love? I am an expressive person and I always express how I feel especially when I’m in love. But now, I’m learning how to keep my feelings to myself. It’s hard coz I’m not like this. My love language is to express, but I’m refraining myself to do it. I want to tell him how I feel, how I terribly miss him, how I want to be with him but I can’t coz it’s not right. Sometimes I tend to send him a message and tell him that I miss him, hoping that he’ll tell me the same, but there’ll be no reply.
He seldom txt me these past few days and that makes me sad. He’s been always busy. I know, and I have to understand. But I’m not used to this set up. I don’t know how long will I stand this. Why would I continue to understand him if there’s no string attached between us? We’re not boyfriends and girlfriends at all. Then I came upon 1 Corinthians 13. I don’t know if it’s love that I feel right now, but the whole chapter really struck me, especially verses 4-7.
I was reminded of my prayer Christmas eve last year. I’ve thanked God for him because I know that he was a gift. I don’t know if we will be together, but I’ll continue to pray for him.
Maybe I’m just emotionally, physically and mentally stressed, and dealing with all of these stress is so hard! >.< Maybe these are all part of growing up and a reminder that I’m a kid no more. God is bringing me to the next level because He knows that I’m ready to face tougher challenges in life.
Haay BIGDAD, I’m tired of all these stress and so I surrender everything unto you. I surrender him, I surrender my heart, I surrender every part of my life. I’m letting go of all my plans and dreams. Let Your will be done Father.